Posts
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A Nation Of Wimps
Author: Hara Estroff Marano Source: Psychology Today
Title: A NATION OF WIMPS
http://www.witchvox.com/wren/wn_detaila.html?id=11725
Maybe it's the cyclist in the park, trim under his sleek metallic blue helmet, cruising along th dirt path...at three mile an hour. On his tricycle
Or perhaps it's today's playground, all-rubber-cushioned surface where kids used to skin their knees. And...wait a minute...those aren't little kids playing. Their mommies--and especially their daddies--are in there with them, coplaying or play-by-play coaching. Few take it half-easy on the perimeter benches, as parents used to do, letting the kids figure things out for themselves.
Then there are the sanitizing gels, with which over a third of parents now send their kids to school, according to a recent survey. Presumably, parents now worry that school bathrooms are not good enough for their children.
Behold the wholly sanitized childhood, without skinned knees or the occasional C in history. "Kids need to feel badly sometimes," says child psychologist David Elkind, professor at Tufts University. "We learn through experience and we learn through bad experiences. Through failure we learn how to cope."
Messing up, however, even in the playground, is wildly out of style. Although error and experimentation are the true mothers of success, parents are taking pains to remove failure from the equation.
Submitted by and Thanks to: The good folks at Arts and Letters Daily (http://www.aldaily.com/)
[Read Full Story]
==================
When I was in school, I always heard about "the curve", and "blowing the curve". When I hit a snag, I had the "Needs Improvement" in red ink....my nephew gets 'feel-good' babble on his.
Growing up, my playground had huge slides, monkey bars, and a ton of swing sets.
Today, that same playground has 1 swing set with 'safety' seats, no slides, no monkey bars...but it does have a little 'play area'. Most of it is now a grassy field.
We now have helmet laws for bikes. My mother this last summer gave me the big lecture on how I need one. I'm 34. I've done the 'stuntman' bit so often, the old ECW guys are amazed. I've had at least 1 car-involvement accident. Never wore helmet, gloves, pads, etc. I'm still here.
I think sometimes, we worry too much. Yes, stuff can happen, but should we all walk around in armour 24/7 just in case? I'm reading a cook book, and there was a warning in there to wear safety glasses. Y'know, I've never seen anyone on any cooking show wearing em. Never seen them on Iron Chef. Not on Emeril, Mario or Alton. In 20 years of cooking, I've gotten hot oil once, on the eye. That was a few days ago. Is it risky? Yup. But no more than walking down the street, IMO.
Kids are too sheltered, too managed, to controled today. They need the room to make mistakes, to get hurt, to learn. Shelter them too much, and too long, and they will be eaten alive by the world. Is it any wonder kids are fatter today than before? The 30 minute scheduled play period isn't enough to burn it off...they want to run around, we call it ADD and drug them. If they act 'different', we tag them with a different name and start 'behavioral modification therapy'. 5 yr old makes a finger gun, goes 'bang bang', and gts a month off for violating the schools 'zero weapons' policy. 6 year old smooches a class mate, and is removed for class for 'sexual harassment'.
You know, if I was in school today, they'd have me executed fast. I used to play guns all the time...I used to kiss the girls and make em cry....I used to play DnD....oh my gawd! I even listened to heavy metal and wore a trench coat.
I truely feel for the kids today...I really do.
=====
It just seems to me, that everything is getting so sanitized, and structured, that the 'spontaneity' and 'randomness' of youth is being lost. We as adults do the getup, goto work, work, come home, dinner, take the kids to their event (classes, games, shows, etc), come home, and pass out "dance" 5 days a week. Part of being a kid is just 'doing', randomly, wandering and exploring. I think it's missing for too many kids today.
The predators are a problem, I admit. It seems like every time you turn on the tv or read the paper that there's another one out there. This priest, that teacher, this neighbor, that relative, that friend, that politician, etc. Who is there that you can trust? All you can do, is what you can do, and hope and pray that it is enough. A key point however, is to do that protecting without seriously impacting the child's ability to interact with others. I think that means that as time goes on, you must relax the restraint.
Sometimes, you can go too far. A person I know, 24, still lives at home, still has a curfew, has never had a 'sleepover', must check in regularly when out, all friends must be 'approved' by the mother, etc. She's a nice gal, but completely incapable of being on her own, without the maternal management. I knew a couple that got married to escape controlling parents...they've been evicted twice, apartments totally pigsties...they haven't got a clue when it comes to 'housework'. Mommy did it all for them.
There has to be a point, or series of points where they are allowed to "grow up".
[Read the full archived discussion at MartialTalk]
Author: Hara Estroff Marano Source: Psychology Today
Title: A NATION OF WIMPS
http://www.witchvox.com/wren/wn_detaila.html?id=11725
Maybe it's the cyclist in the park, trim under his sleek metallic blue helmet, cruising along th dirt path...at three mile an hour. On his tricycleOr perhaps it's today's playground, all-rubber-cushioned surface where kids used to skin their knees. And...wait a minute...those aren't little kids playing. Their mommies--and especially their daddies--are in there with them, coplaying or play-by-play coaching. Few take it half-easy on the perimeter benches, as parents used to do, letting the kids figure things out for themselves.
Then there are the sanitizing gels, with which over a third of parents now send their kids to school, according to a recent survey. Presumably, parents now worry that school bathrooms are not good enough for their children.
Behold the wholly sanitized childhood, without skinned knees or the occasional C in history. "Kids need to feel badly sometimes," says child psychologist David Elkind, professor at Tufts University. "We learn through experience and we learn through bad experiences. Through failure we learn how to cope."
Messing up, however, even in the playground, is wildly out of style. Although error and experimentation are the true mothers of success, parents are taking pains to remove failure from the equation.
Submitted by and Thanks to: The good folks at Arts and Letters Daily (http://www.aldaily.com/)
[Read Full Story]
==================
When I was in school, I always heard about "the curve", and "blowing the curve". When I hit a snag, I had the "Needs Improvement" in red ink....my nephew gets 'feel-good' babble on his.
Growing up, my playground had huge slides, monkey bars, and a ton of swing sets.
Today, that same playground has 1 swing set with 'safety' seats, no slides, no monkey bars...but it does have a little 'play area'. Most of it is now a grassy field.
We now have helmet laws for bikes. My mother this last summer gave me the big lecture on how I need one. I'm 34. I've done the 'stuntman' bit so often, the old ECW guys are amazed. I've had at least 1 car-involvement accident. Never wore helmet, gloves, pads, etc. I'm still here.
I think sometimes, we worry too much. Yes, stuff can happen, but should we all walk around in armour 24/7 just in case? I'm reading a cook book, and there was a warning in there to wear safety glasses. Y'know, I've never seen anyone on any cooking show wearing em. Never seen them on Iron Chef. Not on Emeril, Mario or Alton. In 20 years of cooking, I've gotten hot oil once, on the eye. That was a few days ago. Is it risky? Yup. But no more than walking down the street, IMO.
Kids are too sheltered, too managed, to controled today. They need the room to make mistakes, to get hurt, to learn. Shelter them too much, and too long, and they will be eaten alive by the world. Is it any wonder kids are fatter today than before? The 30 minute scheduled play period isn't enough to burn it off...they want to run around, we call it ADD and drug them. If they act 'different', we tag them with a different name and start 'behavioral modification therapy'. 5 yr old makes a finger gun, goes 'bang bang', and gts a month off for violating the schools 'zero weapons' policy. 6 year old smooches a class mate, and is removed for class for 'sexual harassment'.
You know, if I was in school today, they'd have me executed fast. I used to play guns all the time...I used to kiss the girls and make em cry....I used to play DnD....oh my gawd! I even listened to heavy metal and wore a trench coat.
I truely feel for the kids today...I really do.
=====
It just seems to me, that everything is getting so sanitized, and structured, that the 'spontaneity' and 'randomness' of youth is being lost. We as adults do the getup, goto work, work, come home, dinner, take the kids to their event (classes, games, shows, etc), come home, and pass out "dance" 5 days a week. Part of being a kid is just 'doing', randomly, wandering and exploring. I think it's missing for too many kids today.
The predators are a problem, I admit. It seems like every time you turn on the tv or read the paper that there's another one out there. This priest, that teacher, this neighbor, that relative, that friend, that politician, etc. Who is there that you can trust? All you can do, is what you can do, and hope and pray that it is enough. A key point however, is to do that protecting without seriously impacting the child's ability to interact with others. I think that means that as time goes on, you must relax the restraint.
Sometimes, you can go too far. A person I know, 24, still lives at home, still has a curfew, has never had a 'sleepover', must check in regularly when out, all friends must be 'approved' by the mother, etc. She's a nice gal, but completely incapable of being on her own, without the maternal management. I knew a couple that got married to escape controlling parents...they've been evicted twice, apartments totally pigsties...they haven't got a clue when it comes to 'housework'. Mommy did it all for them.
There has to be a point, or series of points where they are allowed to "grow up".
[Read the full archived discussion at MartialTalk]
