Friday, January 15, 2010

Obama Tax Jokes

Obama Tax Jokes

"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit Obama's national debt." -- Tip o'the hat to Herbert Hoover

Based on his performance in office so far, President Obama should do just fine on his future tax returns. After all, he will be able to write off his second term.

It's too bad that we can't buy stock in the federal tax system. With Obama as president that will be only thing sure to go up.

President Obama is angrily calling for more federal tax increases. He just heard from his advisors that some American taxpayers weren't completely broke yet.

The best things in life are free but President Obama's tax advisors are working hard trying to solve that problem.

Barack Obama isn't planning on buying TurboTax®. Obama can turbocharge our taxes all by himself.

President Obama's tax return should list Bill Ayers and Reverend Wright as dependents.

President Obama plans to start printing income tax forms on Kleenex, so it will be easier for us to pay through the nose.

President Obama has just announced that he has a new plan to simplify the tax code. From now on only the Republicans will have to have to pay any taxes.

Q. Who should be listed as the most expensive dependent on your tax return?
A. President Obama.

President Obama will make it a lot easier for most people to do their income taxes next year. No jobs, no income.

Under Obama everyone in America will be working for the government. Democrats will be on the payrolls and Republicans will be on the tax rolls.

In the interest of full disclosure, President Obama's should declare all of the fawning media coverage he's received so far as a gift on his tax return.

Despite what some people are claiming, this country is just as free under the Obama presidency as it ever was . . . unless you happen to be a taxpayer.

If President Obama listed free enterprise on his tax return, it would have to be listed as a liability. That's because he just writes it off.

Today the IRS released new guidelines on how to avoid audits while Obama is the president. Number one - Don't list excessive deductions. Number two - File your return on time. Number three - Register to vote as a Democrat.

Judging by his wild spending so far, President Obama has apparently decided that it is easier to trim the taxpayers than to trim federal spending.

Don't think of it as paying more taxes. Think of it as giving Obama a big tip.

Thanks to President Obama we will become a more honest people. Once we're all jobless there won't be any point in lying on our tax returns.

Next year's "stimulus" tax return will fit on a postcard.

* How much money did you make?
* Mail it in.

President Obama intends to reward ambition. With higher taxes.

Now that Obama is the President you can still get ahead if you get up early in the morning, work late every day and hit the lottery.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Obama Jokes

Obama Jokes

A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.

The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this; "Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied.

"I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Plymouths, and I voted for Obama."

Barack Obama is an old Kenyan word for Jimmy Carter.

Obama doesn't want terrorists tortured. He wants to torture American taxpayers instead.

Why doesn't Obama pray?
It's impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed.

New Barack Channel (NBC)
Another Barack Channel (ABC)
My Seriously New Barack Channel (MSNBC)

What do you call the US after four years of Obama and the Liberal ccongress?
An Obama nation.

Q. What will the difference be between President Obama and Karl Marx?
A. Karl Marx had way more experience.

President Obama called the Space Shuttle and the astronauts told him they had a bit of trouble getting the Hubble Telescope to cooperate. To which Obama replied, "Well, did you try taxing it, printing your own money and threatening it with the media?" More problems; the Space Shuttle call is NOT on Obama’s calling plan and it’s going to cost the taxpayers $1 trillion. Then Obama appointed Republican Governor of Utah John Huntsman ambassador to China. It’s all part of Obama’s plan to get ALL the republicans out of the country by the end of next year.

Copyright © 2009 Bob Hubbard. All rights reserved.