Saturday, June 5, 2010

Time to trim the Holiday listing

Time to trim the Holiday listing

Man we have a lot of holidays in the US. Most are excuses to slack off, skip work or school, or have a mattress sale. Most have long since lost their meaning. Lets look at a few we should trim. Man we have a lot of holidays in the US. Most are excuses to slack off, skip work or school, or have a mattress sale. Most have long since lost their meaning. Lets look at a few we should trim.

US Federal (2010 Dates)
Friday, January 1 New Year’s Day

Is there really a need for this? Other than a day everyone can leave work 4 hours earlier the night before and get piss headed drunk on? Don't drink so damn much or stay out so late, you won't need a whole day to recover.

Monday, January 18 Birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr.
Yay. Big civil rights activist. Big fraking deal. Why not Rosa Parks birthday? Why not Thurgood Marshall or the Little Rock Nine? You want to light a candle in his name, go ahead. Otherwise, get to work slacker.

Monday, February 15* Washington’s Birthday
Well, it used to be. Now its the generic "Presidents Day". Sorry, not all these guys deserve to be celebrated. Some should have served time. Anyway, the country is so far from what Washington fought for, it's like taking the day off gor your great great great grampa's first communion. Utterly pointless.

Monday, May 31 Memorial Day
Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. men and women who died while in the military service. This one we can keep. The people who died for this country deserve at least 1 day of recognition. Gods knows they get so little thanks other days of the year.

Monday, July 5** Independence Day
The day they supposedly signed some important papers in 1776 that few in Washington DC give 2 ***** about anymore. In any event, this wasn't the day we won our independence, this is just the day they said "We're Free." They were as free as a teenager who said to his parents "You can't tell me what to do". Well, you parents know how well that goes. Here's the rub, it's a holiday dedicated to a myth. The first "Declaration" was on July 2nd, when the Second Continental Congress voted to approve a resolution of independence. The Declaration of Independence was signed by most of the signers on August 2, 1776. The United States wasn't actually granted it's independence by King George III until September 3, 1783. So, enjoy the hotdogs and fireworks, but it's the wrong day.

Monday, September 6 Labor Day
"Power to the People Komerade". Lets just drop Socialist holidays huh?

Monday, October 11 Columbus Day
A celebration dedicated to a guy who was wrong, lost and gave a bunch of indians the clap and introduced them to slavery and worse. We can drop this one too.

Thursday, November 11 Veterans Day
Do we really need a holiday celebrating the end of WWI? Why not VJ Day? How about holidays to celebrate every war the US has ever been in? How about, we stop getting into wars in the first place. I'm not sure war should be celebrated, are you?

Thursday, November 25 Thanksgiving Day
Lets celebrate stealing land, exploiting the naive, and causing mass death through the exchange of germs. Sounds good to me. Better yet, lets celebrate it every year as a thanks for an avoidable war caused by a power mad tyrant. Even better. Lets just call the whole thing off huh?

Friday, December 24*** Christmas Day
While we're at it, lets take off for Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, and the other 40+ religious holidays in December. Better yet, lets just drop all religious holiday period. Your fictitious invisible buddy wants you to slack off? Let him pay for it.

While we're at it, do we really need the banks closed that often? Flag day, Patriots day, I got a rash on my ass day. Really. Bad enough they only are open 30 minutes 4 days a week.

Here's the only holidays that matter.
A holiday to celebrate the nation.
A holiday to celebrate the men and women who defend it.

Give people 10 other days they can slack off on, and let them choose when to do it. They can call it whatever they want to.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm taking the rest of "I Haven't gotten enough sleep and I've had too much Caffeine" day off.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Copyright © 2009 Bob Hubbard. All rights reserved.